About Kevin Van Liere.
Interview With Kevin
Divorced, twice. So why Kevin?
My first marriage was fast and short lived. I was so desperate to have someone want to be with me. I was lonely and ready to start my life. She was an amazing person. But we were not a good fit and the red flags I saw even before the wedding became billboards. My healing process was to have a good cry, be embarrassed for a while, and choose to do better next time.
My second marriage lasted 14 years, we were together for 17 years. I loved her. I still do. But I wasn't happy in the marriage, neither was she. I secretly waited every day for us to figure out how to be happy. When she asked for the divorce I didn't realize HOW unhappy she was. My world crashed in on me and I was devastated. The train had gone off the track and I couldn't figure out how to get it back on. In the middle of a divorce is NOT the time to figure out how to have a healthy relationship. You need help. I tried and it didn't work.
Since then I have done a LOT of work on myself. I have recognized my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that contributed to the demise of the relationship. I can see clearly how the disconnection grew, starting before we even married. We could have made it work, if both of us were willing to learn and grow together.
So not only have I processed my marriage, and the effects of divorce, I have been coached myself and done therapy. I have devoted thousands of hours to learning and integrating into my own life and sharing with others. For example I have read hundreds of books on so many different topics on what it is to be human: relationships, divorce, habits, boundaries, trauma, feelings, thought patterns, relationship style, recovery tools, happiness, joy, gratitude, meditation, communication, trust, and more.
When I went through my divorce and a recovery program to help me heal I decided that I didn't want people to struggle like I did, any longer than necessary.
And now, I love my life. I really do. I love myself. I understand what I need. I am learning how to be in a healthy relationship that works. I tried many times after my divorce and after a number of "growing" relationships I am in one that is stable, healthy and deeply fulfilling - for 3 years now.
How do I work?
I'm not normal. I went to college and worked for a long time as an engineer. I wasn't one of those dorky engineers though. I always seemed to have jobs that included working with customers and people. But I bring my logical brain into what is normally a "woo-woo" kind of industry. I like using models, pictures, and visuals to help people understand an idea.
I will create a coaching plan for you. We are going to build a strategy for you to reach your goals. This isn't therapy where we do the "tell me about that" and I reflect back to you what you just said.
You are asking me to help you achieve a goal, or remove an obstacle to your growth. You are paying me for it and I will pull up my sleeves and help you get there.
I love people. Even the ones that I don't like.
Everyone is trying to figure out how to get through life. Some are more self-centered than others. Some give too much of themselves. I see people that are super angry and I know that deep down they are suffering. They don't want to be angry but they are. There are people that don't want to get out of bed because they don't want to face life.
I get it. I've been there.
But I have also seen people I work with transform in one 30 minute conversation from angry at the world and ready to give up, so excited to be alive. Sometimes the right words, delivered in the right way, to a person that is ready to hear them can change their life. Forever.
If you are desperate. If you are struggling....CALL ME!
There is a beauty in divorce and recovery...
Divorce is considered the second most difficult event in a person's life. Death of a spouse is #1.
I don't agree.
Death is permanent. It may be more intense but the "ghost" doesn't call you, text you, or come to family get togethers.
Divorce forces you to make a decision: live in the past or face a new, unplanned future.
Divorce is also an opportunity.
I don't say that lightly. I've been there and it sucks. When everything hurts it is hard to say "what an opportunity!". However, it puts your back against the wall. You find your bottom. And at that bottom you see what you are capable of. When you are at your lowest point you have nothing to lose.
So you get to decide how you want to put your life back together. You see your own tenacity. Your willingness to fight for a better future. You are confronted by your own humanity.
And then your new world starts to take shape. You see what you are capable of. You know what the bottom is like and there is motivation in knowing that you have visited it - and you don't want to go back. You gain compassion for others that are at their lowest point.
When you start to learn and grow, you understand yourself better. You start to become the person you have been craving to be - maybe for your whole life.
You begin care less about what others think, and you begin to care more.
This transformation is life changing.
And I want that for you.
What Is Coaching?
Coaching is not therapy though it CAN be therapeutic.
Coaching comes from the basic assumption that you are whole and complete and that you have obstacles to overcome and need help with. Therapy assumes that you are broken and that there is something that needs to be fixed.
Therapy is not structured, which is why people spend years in therapy. Coaching has a plan, there is a focus, it is goal oriented.
Therapists have an incentive to keep you as a client. Coaches want to give YOU the tools and information so that you don't need to keep coming back.
Who is Coaching For?
If you want to change your life , coaching is for you.
If you are coachable, coaching is for you.
If you are ready to look inward, coaching is for you.
Goal oriented
...there is a plan
Interactive
...this is a team effort. We work together.
Unique tools and information
...I teach you ideas and give feedback that works.
I will challenge you
...my job is to say what needs to be said, respectfully
Guaranteed
...I will work with you until you get the result you are looking for. If not, I will refund your money - if you do the work.
I like to be active: running, travelling, watching my boys grow up, playing Idiot (card game), concerts, paddle boarding, spending time with friends, poker parties, some video games. I love talking to people, getting and giving a hug. I love my life.
I want you to love yours too.
Testimonials
“Kevin has a tremendous amount of knowledge. What was amazing to me was how he could shift topics quickly if necessary. In every case he was able to see WHY I was stuck and then skillfully help me see how to overcome it. Every session was mind blowing.”
“I expected that my time with Kevin would be similar to therapy. It wasn't. He would give me homework, I would watch videos that he created for ME. It was like we were building a house together. The house of ME. I simply love him.”
“I think when you pay someone you know that they are going to try to help you. With Kevin it was different. He really cared. I could tell that he thought about me, spent time outside of our sessions preparing for our sessions. He worked as hard on me as I did.”
Don’t Wait Any Longer. Start Forging Your Own Path Today!
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